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Lindsey McKeon and Rachel Paulson are Earth's oldest living millennials. They were adulting before it was cool. Now they're here to take you on a mid-30s journey, to teach you young'n's everything you ought to know to live your best life as a grown-ass millennial.

Strap in, kiddos.

Apr 22, 2019

Rachel and Lindsey just say YES to "the last greatest drug," despite addiction, heroin brain, poop triggers, acid reflux, teeth stains, mold, mold and MORE MOLD.

Lindsey has tried all the trendiest varieties, from Bulletproof to Kion, and knows which will poison your body least. Meanwhile Rachel remembers getting hooked on her parents' Folgers and Maxwell House, which barely even exist anymore.

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Write us at oldestmillennials@gmail.com to ask the burning questions you want the girls to school you on next.

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